【翻譯練習】養成四習慣，大腦不再窮擔心

4 Habits That Will Train Your Brain to Stop Worrying

作者：Thomas Oppong
來源：https://medium.com/mind-cafe/how-to-finally-stop-worrying-about-everything-b3c530df0836

當你不再把注意力浪費在那些無謂的擔憂，你才有辦法專注在人生一切美好的事物上。

　　幾百年前，蒙田 (Michel de Montaigne) 就說過：「我一生中不時想像可能會遭遇不幸的噩事；然而那些事大部分從來沒有發生。」

　　這番真知灼見，如今依然受用無窮。事實上，有研究證明我們擔心的事情，絕大多數都不曾成真。

　　萬一這法子沒用呢？萬一我失敗了呢？這種問題是否令你感覺頗熟悉？感到熟悉的，不會只有你一人。很多人虛擲無數光陰在擔心上頭 —— 擔心自己做的每件事是否不夠完美，擔心別人比自己厲害得多。也有人擔心自己會不會讓別人失望，惹別人生氣，害別人不開心。

　　停不下來的擔心，負面的思考，總預想最糟的情形，這些都會危害你的身心健康。

　　利寶互助保險公司 (Liberty Mutual Insurance) 的〈少擔心報告〉(Worry Less Report) 指出，38% 的人每天都會擔心某些事情，可能是一場工作面試，即將上台發表的場合，也可能是一場重要會議。

　　一份針對 2 千名千禧世代的調查也顯示，受訪者一年內花在擔驚受怕的時間，平均起來相當於整整 63 天，等於浪費二個月在擔心上。美國暢銷書作者、大眾心理學家韋恩．戴爾 (Wayne Dyer) 說，擔心是一種「沒用的情緒」。

　　生活中難免會擔心，疑懼，焦慮，這些都是正常的。然而如果你一直在質疑自己的承諾與責任，懷疑自己對人生各個層面付出的貢獻，那麼你該採取行動，讓自己少擔心一點。

　　擔心少一點，好處就會多一點，生產力也能高一點 —— 只要控制好自己的擔心，這股情緒便能成為驅策我們起而行的動力，並且避免自己卡在拖延的泥淖。

　　適度的擔心有助提高生產力，不過假如擔心令你無法感受生活最美好的一面，那麼擔心便會成為一種弊病。有些人給自己塞了太多擔心的事情 —— 腦海中滿滿都是從未真實上演過的災難畫面。這些人在心中把災難放大再放大。擔憂之情過分佔據他們的生活，結果他們根本沒辦法採取實際行動來應付擔心的事情。

　　「擔心是人之常情，」紐約臨床心理師、《國際認知療法期刊》(International Journal of Cognitive Therapy) 副主編羅伯特．萊希 (Robert Leahy) 說道。「不過對部分人來說，擔心的力道太過頭了。這也擔心、那也擔心的人，往往會變得沮喪抑鬱；你的擔心，可能會讓自己陷入這種負面的人生觀。」

　　大部分人不時在擔心錢，擔心健康，擔心工作，擔心家庭等等的事情。他們擔心萬一事態沒有按照計畫進行，可能會發生什麼情形。無論你擔心是哪種事情，身體的反應都如出一轍：壓力水平上升。

　　ScienceDirect 發表的一篇新研究，發現占據我們焦慮心靈的擔憂，其實很多從來沒有真正出現。作者稱：「廣泛性焦慮症 (GAD) 患者擔心的事情，91.4% 都沒有發生。」

　　擔心會奪走我們的幸福喜樂，並產生無用的負面想法。當你在腦海反覆重播擔心之事，鎮日惴惴不安，那麼你便錯過了人生風景，錯過了親密摯友，錯過了大好良機，錯過了世上一切美好事物。

　　「關於人性，我所知道最神奇的事情之一，就是我們每個人往往都沒有活在當下。我們都在空想著海市蜃樓上的某個魔幻玫瑰花園 —— 而不是靜心欣賞今天自家窗外盛開的那朵玫瑰。」卡內基 (Dale Carnegie) 在其著作《如何停止憂慮開創人生》(How to Stop Worrying and Start Living) 如此寫道。

　　此刻我們的焦慮，許多是來自於擔心也許永遠不會發生的事情，或者我們無法實質掌控的事情。當然，如果你有辦法掌控，就盡力而為；但要是你無法使上任何力氣，那麼除非那些事情真的發生，否則你根本沒必要擔心。

　　某件事情到底值得我們操多少心？到怎樣的程度，我們就必須停止擔心，接受現狀？假使真的有個方法可以讓我們停止擔心呢 (或起碼不會那麼過度擔心)？

1. 找到停損點 — 給擔心設定限度

　　停損是股票交易的退場策略：投資人在每場交易設下停損的價格，若是跌到這個價格，代表交易為虧，投資人就要適時退場。

　　停損策略的普遍概念，是去決定你所擔心的事情對你而言有多少價值，以及你願意為這份擔心承受多少內心折磨。還要決定到哪個時間點你不會再把心理力氣浪費在擔心上。

　　為每個擔心設下限度，並不是放任擔心去操弄你的生活，而是讓你可以清楚意識到究竟有哪些事情盤據在自己內心，然後你可以選擇關注其他的事情，而不是鑽牛角尖。這種方式可以重新訓練大腦擔心少一點，也能明智一點。

2. 認清自己擔心之事，並透過書寫將擔心逐出腦海

　　擔心解決不了問題本身。別再去擔心有哪些事情可能出錯，不如用書寫的方式來抒發擔心。寫出來以後，會覺得腦袋彷彿清空，整個人輕盈了起來，沒有那麼緊繃。

　　花點時間認清自己到底是在擔心什麼事，並把那些事都寫下來。追根究柢，探討擔心或問題的源頭。一旦瞭解你擔心的事情當中哪些最為要緊，就問問自己是否有辦法化解這樣的擔心。要是那些事不是你所能控制的，而且你也無法採取任何行動去改變那些事，就把心力放在你確實有能力解決或改變的事情上。

　　〈少擔心報告〉第一作者漢斯．施羅德 (Hans Schroder，密西根州立大學臨床心理學博士) 說：「心裡想什麼，全部寫出來，不要有所保留。不用跟別人分享你的想法，也不必在意錯字和文法。透過表達式的書寫，把擔心從腦海中驅逐出境，便能騰出認知資源，用在其他事情上」。

3. 把擔心從長期問題轉移到有益解決問題的日常例行事務/行動

　　務實點，主動辦好你擁有掌控權的行動。

　　把擔心的事情列成清單，找出短期內你可以採取哪些行動來解決問題，然後開始每日、每週或每月執行。

　　每天做一件可以讓你距離解決已知問題更近一步的事情。心裡坦然接受最糟糕的可能情況，並努力去改善。

　　這個過程的重點，是針對你擁有掌控權的事情採取行動，如此將能促使你找出已知問題的解決之道。

　　就算擔心的事情發生了，也要把你打算怎麼處理的作法寫下來。給每個已知問題想出一個解決辦法。譬如說，假設你因自身財務狀況而感焦慮，那麼你必須擬定開源節流的計畫，或把一部分的儲蓄投資在低風險的投資標的。

　　又譬如，別再擔心體重計浮現的數字，而該好好規劃有助減重的健康餐點選項。別管往後的健康情形了，先從每天開始健走做起。

4. 打破擔心循環

　　如果擔心得太過火，就要尋找建設性的辦法，讓自己抽離出這樣的思考迴圈。去找事做。起身動一動 —— 運動是一種可以打破擔心循環的天然無害辦法，因為運動會觸發人體釋放腦內啡，腦內啡能夠緩解緊張和壓力，提振精神，並增進幸福感。

　　另一種讓自己分心的辦法，是去做一件完全與擔心之事扯不上關係、差很大的事情，逼自己在別的事情上用心。如果你選擇去做一件可以讓你非常投入的事情，像是精進自己的嗜好，或閱讀一本好書，那麼這個辦法效果最好。

　　明察自己的擔心，並以他者的角度去觀察自己的擔心，不帶任何反應或批判。這個辦法主要是去觀察自己在擔心什麼事，然後把這些事放水流，如此一來你便能找到思想中到底是哪個環節出了問題，並與自己的內在產生連結。

　　必須知道，我們是可以控制自己的想法的，所以我們的擔心，有時可以成為一種頓悟時刻，讓你對擔心有所改觀。

　　學會停止擔心，將是人生徹底改頭換面的轉捩點。改變無法一蹴可幾，必須努力再努力，然而一旦你察覺到自己的改變，就要為自己歡呼，並且繼續去做有助停止擔心的事情。

　　假如你自覺擔心已成為自身無法控制的困擾，那麼務必尋求專業協助。絕對不該放縱擔心主宰你的人生。

When you stop focusing on your worries, you can focus on all that is good in your life.

Centuries ago, Michel de Montaigne said, "My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened."

His profound statement still proves true today. In fact, there are studies that prove that a greater percentage of the things we worry about never actually happen.

What if it doesn't work out? What if I fail? Do any of these questions sound familiar to you? You're not alone. Many people spend a lot of time worrying — worrying that everything they do is unsatisfactory, and worrying that others are so much better than them. Others worry about letting other people down, that other people are upset with them, and that other people are unhappy.

Constant worrying, negative thinking, and always expecting the worst can take a toll on your emotional and physical health.

Whether it's a job interview, an upcoming presentation, or an important meeting, 38% of us are worried about something every day, according to the "Worry Less Report" by Liberty Mutual Insurance.

A survey of 2,000 millennials also showed that the average respondent spent the equivalent of 63 full days a year worried and stressed out. That's like two months lost to worry. The ultra-bestselling American pop psychologist Wayne Dyer calls worry a "useless emotion".

Worries, doubts, and anxieties are a normal part of life. But you consistently question your commitments and responsibilities and your contribution to the various aspects of your life, you should take steps to worry less.

Worrying less can be helpful and productive —when managed it can propel us into action and prevent procrastination.

Worrying can be productive, but not if it's keeping from living your best life. Some people actively worry about a lot of things — filling up their heads with disastrous scenarios that will never play out. They magnify catastrophe in their minds. Worry overwhelm them so much that it keeps them from actually doing anything about it.

"Worry is part of human nature," says Robert Leahy, a New York-based clinical psychologist and associate editor of the International Journal of Cognitive Therapy. "For some people, though, worry gets to be overwhelming," Leahy says. "People who worry a lot tend to become depressed; you can worry yourself into this negative outlook on life."

Most people spend a lot of time worrying about money, health, work, family, and more. They worry about what might happen if things don't go exactly to plan. No matter what kind of worry you have, the response in your body is always the same: It increases your stress levels.

According to a new study published in the ScienceDirect, found that many of the worries that occupy an anxious mind never come to fruition. "91.4% of worries did not come true for those with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)", the authors highlighted.

Worry robs us of our happiness and causes needless negativity. When you're stuck in your head, worrying, you are missing out on life. Missing out on friends, opportunities and all the good stuff in the world.

"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon — instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today" says Dale Carnegie, in his book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

Much our anxiety today is down to worrying about things that may never happen, or things we have literally no amount of control over. Of course, if you can control it, do something about it, but either way, you shouldn't worry unnecessarily if they never happen.

How much worry is it really worth? At what point do we need to stop worrying and accept the situation as it is? What if there was a way to stop worrying (or at least stop worrying so much)?

1. Find your stop-loss point — give worry a limitation

Stop-loss is a strategy used in stock trading to exit a trade — the investor sets a stop-loss on each trade at a price level at which they wish to exit what has become a losing trade.

The general idea behind the stop-loss strategy is to determine how much things you are worried about are worth to you, and how much psychological turmoil you're willing to endure for their sake. And what point you stop wasting mental energy on them.

When you find yourself in a cycle of worry and anxiety, stop and ask where your stop-loss point is, i.e. at what point do you stop worrying and let it go?

By giving every worry a limitation, you're not allowing it to control you but you become mindful about everything occupying your mind and choose to focus on other things instead of digging deeper. It's one way to retrain your brain to worry less and worry smarter.

2. Acknowledge your worries, and get them out of your head by writing them down

Worrying rarely leads to solutions. Instead of worrying about everything that can go wrong, write away your worries. By writing down your worries, you feel as though you're emptying your brain, and you feel lighter and less tense.

Take time to acknowledge your worries and write them down. Explore the roots of your worries or problems. Once you know the most important things you worry about, ask yourself if your worries are solvable. If they are not in your control and there is nothing you can possibly do to change them, focus on those you can do solve or change.

"Get everything out and don't hold back," says lead author of the "Worry Less Report", Hans Schroder (PhD in Clinical Psychology, Michigan State University). "You don't have to share your thoughts with anyone, and don't worry about spelling and grammar. Getting worries out of your head through expressive writing frees up cognitive resources for other things," he adds.

3. Shift your worry from the long-term problems to daily routines/actions that will solve the problems

Be pragmatic, and proactive about things in your control.

Once you list your worries, identify actions you can take in the short-term to solve the problems and start executing daily, weekly or monthly.

Do one thing every day that brings you closer to solving your perceived problem. Work toward improving the worst-case scenario, which you have already accepted in your mind.

This process focuses on taking action about things in your control. It forces you to find solutions to your perceived problems.

Write down how you will deal with them even if they happen. Think of a solution for all your perceived problems. For example, if your financial situation makes you anxious, you need to create a plan to earn more or spend less or invest some of your savings in low-risk investment opportunities.

Or instead of worrying about your weight, focus on healthy dinner options that can help you lose the weight. Instead of worrying about your long-term health, focus on taking a walk each day.

4. Interrupt the worry cycle

If you worry excessively, find productive activities that can easily distract your thought process. Keep busy. Get up and get moving — exercise is a natural way to break the cycle because it releases endorphins which relieve tension and stress, boost energy, and enhance your sense of well-being.

You can also distract yourself by doing something completely unrelated and different that forces you to focus on something else. This is most effective if you choose an activity you deeply care about such as practising your hobby or reading an exceptional book.

Be mindful and observe your worries from an outsider's perspective, without reacting or judging. This strategy is based on observing your worries and then letting them go, helping you identify where your thinking is causing problems and getting in touch with yourself.

Understanding that we have control over our own thoughts, and therefore our own worries can be a lightbulb moment that changes how you perceive your worries.

Learning to stop worrying will be the catalyst to change your life completely. It won't happen overnight, and it is something you will need to work at, but once you notice changes, celebrate them and keep doing things that can help you get out of your head more.

If worrying is a problem that you feel you cannot control, it is important to seek professional help. There is no reason to let it run your life.